Monday, April 19, 2010
Figuring out who you are: Submissive, Slave, Painslut....
Finding yourself by exchanging power with a dominant will satisfy the inner longing you feel if you understand what it is that you need and are looking for. Some women desire a man to use them roughly, take pleasure from them and tell them what to do; in and /or out of bed. They like to submit...but they are not prepared to do this completely or all the time. By completely, I mean they may be willing to give up some control or take some punishment, but are very specific and vocal about their limits. For example, I have been with submissive women who would crawl around naked on a leash, lap water out of a dog dish on the floor under the beautiful glow of candle light---from a lit candle being held by their asshole, and they would clean my cock with their tongues after sex, and could take a fairly hard whipping when I punished them. However, they would refuse to clean my cock if we had anal sex even if I had checked myself and came out absolutely clean, and though they could tolerate a fairly hard whipping, if I caned them too hard, or paddled them too much in the same spot, they had no problem refusing to go on. These women were submissive but retained their own level of control and were comfortable setting their own limits. Then I have been with women who did not really draw any lines, but made it clear in discussions when we were not involved in any specific roles, that they did not wish to be harmed severely, but were leaving it up to me to do what I wanted but keep them relatively safe. The concept was that my care and feelings for them would protect them within the framework of my enjoying my desires and them living out their submission. These women would do everything mentioned above, but if I pulled my cock out of their asshole and brought it to their mouth, they would clean my clock, assuming I had check to make sure their health would not be compromised. If I beat their ass with a cane or paddle, they would take whatever I gave them, and rely on the fact that their screams and the shape of their skin would tell me when they could not go on. The second group of women were not only submissive, but were defined more in my opinion as slaves. Still, they were successful women pursuing their own goals in their lives so even then, all of these women would be described as sexual submissives and sex slaves. They did not wish to exchange power in any other ways or for 24/7. Then I have been with women that did everything the slaves did above, but wanted to be cared for and dominated, 24/7. They wanted to be kept, led and decisions made for them. I met 2 kinds of women like this. One group that really wanted this and one group that thought they dud, but then were always trying to assert what choices they would have made if it did not match the decision I made for us. I have enjoyed my time with all of these women, though the last group can be the most annoying because what they ant does not match what they claim they need. Nevertheless, given all of their submissive qualities they can be trained to exhibit their needs without asserting them in annoying ways. Then, finally, when it comes to punishment, I have been with two groups of women. The pain-slave and the pain-slut. The pain-slave is extremely submissive, for example, when we go to a restaurant, I have her sit at the table constantly rubbing her pussy through her pants, thus ensuring her thong is soaking wet. She wears a loose fitting shirt so the exceptionally tight biting nipple clamps would not be completely visible through it. Then I have her go to the bathroom, remove her thong and return to the table and lick the thong clean from her juices while passersby and waitstaff can see. If she falters in her licking I caress her breasts, twisting the clamps a bit in the process, reminding her of her place. The pain-slut on the other hand, has no desire to display her submission, or may not even desire much submission beyond what is required to serve the one who will be punishing her and their needs. However, when it comes to punishment both these types desire the same level of pain, which falls within a range that goes from severe to damaging. These types can tax the limits of a dominant if they are not into giving severe and possibly scarring punishment. At any of the extreme levels it becomes more difficult and more necessary to match submissive to dominant so you can both get what you want.
So, what kind of submissive are you?