Tuesday, April 20, 2010

All Things to All People.

In my experience with submissive girls and women of all ages, I have found certain consistencies. Many had the interest or desire long before they understood it, they did not know where to get reliable information about this and did not know how to find help safely. They did not understand what limits were reasonable, what was expected of them if they planned to submit, or how to ensure their safety in new situations. I also found when I first started looking, that it was very difficult to meet girls with my interests---until I found out that just meeting girls meant I would meet some with my interests. The internet has made things appear easier, but I think, and this experience is borne out when I speak to others, that it has also complicated the matter, allowed for a lot of predation and lies and has not helped make anything safer. I feel my experiences, because they are varied without being inappropriately numerous, might shed some light on these issues. Certainly, as a dominant it is in my vested interest to help these processes along. Since relationships are complicated, you cannot, or choose not, to stay with people just because the D/s is great, I can’t always ask the submissives I have been involved with to contribute to these blogs. Therefore I have also been contacting submissives I can find from various groups I have come across online to offer their suggestions, contributions, help, comments or criticisms. I have had a great many visits to the blogs, and am hopeful as I post more that this will bear fruit. I have been getting some emailed questions and comments which were very thoughtful and inquisitive. I am hopeful that some of them will also ultimately contribute. They are, so far, the youngest and least experienced and that may explain both their inquisitiveness and hesitation. In answer to the mosr common concerns; first, I am a consultant and have nothing to do with the business of D/s. I am not secretly representing any sites nor creating a site to sell D/s gear. After that they were mostly interested in a) am I just doing this to meet submissive girls, or b) was I willing to meet anyone? While I am a human being like anyone, and am always interested in meeting people, the main thrust of this was I am trying to make the kind of blogs I could have used when I started out, if the internet were available. I have yet to see a site that really addressed the nuts and bolts of beginning and none that have detailed initial experiences, including thoughts, concerns and actions. If I can do this successfully, I hope that new submissives and dominants everywhere will be safer when they understand what they want, how to seek it safely and when everyone understands what they need and what is reasonable to expect from their partners. It is sometimes difficult for eager participants to negotiate what they fantasize with what other human beings can actually and willingly provide. So can this blog be all things for all people? No, but maybe it will be useful to some and enjoyable to others.


  1. My friend told me about this blog. She was invited to read it and she knew I would be interested. I was fortunate enough to be introduced to BDSM by a man I knew for a few years. Until I met him I had never been tied up, spanked, whipped or had clothespins on my nipples. The closes I ever came was I knew I liked to pinch my nipples hard when I masturbated. He taught me the joys of having my hands tied behind my back while someone does whatever they want to my body. I used to worry about why I liked these things, and I used to push him away by telling him he was corrupting me. He said my body betrayed the truth, and I should shed my guilt and embrace what turned me on, but instead I pressured him too quickly to give me a more traditional life, and I lost him. He's older than me and he used to talk about how difficult it was for him to meet girls who liked to be whipped when he started dating. It is supposed to be easier now but since he left, all I have met was a couple of scary dudes and I long for the days of his safe embrace, the sting of his clamps on my nipples and the cut of his cane across my backside. I am happy to contribute in any way I can because I am hopeful that he will come back to me if I show him I have become a better slave or perhaps I can meet someone who isn't crazy scary and is just a good person, like he was, and that knows how to put me in my place.

  2. Welcome and thank you for sharing. If you contribute, I am sure it will be valuable. Hopefully we can help you find what you are looking for.